wrigley field is MILF paradise
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My vagina is very pro this idea
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