Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize