Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
