i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
