Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize