if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
