She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
