I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
