I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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