Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize