you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
