saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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