I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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