How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
