Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
