She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
