you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
