Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
