She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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