so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
