Me too!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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