Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
