He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
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