In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
