It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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