dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Damn victory sex feels great
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
