My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
