she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
