well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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