Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
3 2 1 whiskey
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
