This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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