All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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