You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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