I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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