Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
