He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
