you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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