Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
