i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
