If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
