Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
