have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
two words: eviction party
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
