WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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