1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
