ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
