a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
