Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
