look no pants
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize