I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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