today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
