I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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