There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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