So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
