The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
